The Life I Chose
by beccajean85
Summary: Futurefic. Chloe knows it's not his fault...this is the life she chose. (Chlex)
1. Lonely Nights

Disclaimer: Here's a shock: I don't own any of these characters. I'm doing this for my own amusement and no infringement is intended.

A/N: This is set in the future, but jumps around, giving a few glimpses into Lex and Chloe's life together. Keep in mind that the chapters won't be going in any chronological order (or any other sort of order for that matter).

"Chloe."

I look up and yeah, he is standing in front of my desk, and I smile at first, but then I see the look on his face. It's not horribly different from the usual look he gives me-his face neutral as can be, but his eyes betraying his love. Today though, there's that tinge of 'you're not going to like this,' accompanying it.

"I take it tonight's a no-go?" I ask, as he rounds my desk, kisses my cheek and sits in the chair on the side of the desk.

"Something came up."

It's not a big deal, I try to tell myself. But I was excited for tonight. He's been busy lately-more than usual. I bought a new dress, new lingerie-I got my nails done for God's sake.

I smile as best I can, and I have to admit, it takes some work because I just want to cry, "It's okay."

He shakes his head, "No, it's not. I've done this to you twice in the last month."

"I know you wouldn't cancel if it weren't important," I say, and I don't know if I say it for him or myself.

His fingers intertwine with mine and he lifts our hands to his lips, "I'm sorry," he says and I can see that he truly does mean it, "I'll make it up to you. I promise."

It's a nice notion, and he'll compensate for his guilt by bringing something shiny home tonight and wake me when he comes home in the early morning hours. He'll look awful and I'll feel bad because he feels bad-worse because he's so tired and generally looking beat to hell. He'll make me open the box then and there and I do, because it will make him feel better. He'll make me feel better in the morning, bringing me breakfast in bed, that I know he made himself, because the toast will be burnt and the eggs will be runny. And he'll tell me he loves me while we eat and he'll eat more than I will, which is fine, because the food will be horrible. And then we'll make love and he'll taste like eggs and toast, then me and then us. After, we'll cuddle until the phone starts to ring and then the magic will be over. If he feels guilty enough he'll pick me up at work that night and we'll go out to dinner-

He's looking guilty already, so it's a safe bet that he'll be picking me up tomorrow.

"Our anniversary's next week."

I smile genuinely this time, "I know."

"Think you can skip town for a few days?"

I shrug, "Probably. What are you planning?"

"A little trip. Anywhere you want to go."

"I'll look into that."

"Okay. I have to go," he stands and kisses me so tenderly, "Wait up for me?"

He always asks and I always try to, but he usually finds me passed out over my laptop in bed.

"Yeah."

"I'll see you tonight."

He's gone then and I go back to work, but my heart's not in it anymore, and I know that's because I'm going home to an empty house tonight and I'm falling asleep in an empty bed and I'm going to feel bad when he gets home. I love him, but sometimes he breaks my heart.

That's what I should expect though-I did marry a Luthor after all.


	2. How it is

He's staring at me from across the room and I sigh, "What?"

"What does it feel like?"

I shake my head, "Weird I guess. I've been like this for a while if you haven't noticed. I'm used to it."

"I don't know if I'd get used to having something in me."

I laugh at him this time, "You've missed a lot of it."

"I know," his head dips a little, "I'm sorry. I never thought the merger would tie me up for so long."

"Don't do that. I'm not trying to guilt trip you."

He comes over to the bed and sits next to me, "That kind of thing is over. I will never be gone for that long again. We're going to have a baby in a few weeks-I won't become my father," his hand rests on my hip, rubbing gently.

The baby kicks and I moan out of discomfort, not pain.

His hand hesitates over my abdomen, "Can I?" he kind of gestures.

"Lex," laugh, "you don't have to ask to touch me. My God, how do you think I got this way?"

I take his hand, "Right here-wait-" I wait until she settles down-I know it's a she-and reposition his hand, "Can you feel it?"

He shook his head.

"You might need to press a little."

His touch remains just as feather light as before, "Lex, you're not going to hurt me."

He pressed just a tiny bit harder and I sigh, "Here," I push two of his fingers firmly into one place.

His face shifts, "What-what is that?"

"Her heartbeat."

His eyes light up and he stares at me reverently, "That's-oh my God," he shifts on the bed, leaning to kiss me.

Whoa is about the only word I can say. I had to go through the whole hormone overload part of my pregnancy while my husband was in Europe. I'm feeling it now.

I reach for him and he hesitates, "Can we?"

I nod, "It's going to take some maneuvering, I'm sure," I say looking down.

He chuckles, kissing just under my ear, "Do you know how long it's been?"

"I have a vague idea," I smile as he presses himself to my side.

It did take some maneuvering but after, curled against him, while his hands both rest lightly on my stomach I feel more connected to him than ever.

"What do you think she'll look like?"

"I hope she has your smile," I say, tracing the smile in question with my fingertip, "not that any one but me would know," I tease.

He kisses my finger, "Your ears."

I laugh out right, "My hair God willing," I run my fingers over his head.

"I wasn't born bald and you know it," he laughs.

"I know, that's why I say it. Your hair was a color of red I've never discovered again on any human."

"Your hair," he agrees, "Your eyes."

"No, your's."

He laughs again, "One of both then."

"What are you trying to do to her?"

"Your nose," he kisses the end of mine.

"I hate my nose and you know it."

"I love it though."

"Your eyelashes."

"My eyelashes?" that half mocking half disbelief tone of his creeps up.

"Mmm-Hmm," I nod, because his eyelashes are pale as can be, but if you get close enough you can really see how long and curly they are-really beautiful

"Your toes."

"Okay, we're done," I tell him.

It's been so long since we've been like this-since we've just been us-that I sigh, closing my eyes, "Promise me Lex," I say, not knowing what I'm saying until he speaks.

"Promise you what Chloe?" he asks, looking horribly worried.

"That you'll never be gone that long again," I sit up, "Lex, I can't do it. I can't-it's bad enough on my own, but if I have a child here too that's missing you-I can't."

"Chloe, I will never be gone any longer than I have to-"

"Lex."

He kisses me, "Never again honey. I promise."

I relax some then, and he puts his arms around me again, "I love you," he murmurs into my hair.

I curl closer against him. He doesn't say those words lightly, never has, maybe because he never had any one to say them to after his mother was gone.

I don't say anything back, but he doesn't expect me to, so it's okay. This is just how it is with us. This is just who we are.


	3. Shadow

"Lex?"

He looks up from his desk, where he just hung up the phone, "Yes?"

I stretch on the sofa, where he left me a few minutes earlier, "What did your mother look like?"

I've been curious for a while and I didn't know how to approach the question, or if it would upset him, but I finally decided to take the plunge a few minutes ago.

"You've never seen a picture of her?" he asks, standing and crossing the room.

I shake my head, "Never."

He nods, "I'm not surprised. She-she didn't like public events-hardly went to any after I was born. She liked to stay home where she was comfortable. She was really shy," he finished, reaching for my hand, "Come on, I'll show you some pictures."

He takes me up some stairs and into what I reason must be his bedroom.

He sits on the edge of the bed and reaches for me. I impulsively sit on his knee and I think it's weird as I do it, because while I've literally climbed on him before, this is still new and it's Lex and we're not making out right now.

Sitting like that we're on just the exact same level and he kisses me softly.

I snuggle happily down into his shoulder and it feels so good that I'm content to just sit like this forever.

He reaches for a framed picture sitting on the nightstand.

I take it into my hands, and don't overlook the venerability in his eyes as I do so.

The picture is of a woman-a woman who really is beautiful-holding a little boy with bright red hair. Both are laughing and even now Lex's smile is the same-just like the little boy in the picture, just like his mother's.

"That's my fourth birthday," he says softly, his fingers tracing over the image of his mother.

"Lex, she was so beautiful-you look so much like her," I look up at him and his eyes are glassy, just short of tears.

"She would have loved you Chloe," he whispers, his voice catching.

I start to feel a little misty myself, because here's Lex Luthor, I'm sitting on his lap and he's trying not to cry.

"I wish I could have met her," I put my arms around him, hugging him tightly, "She loved you so much Lex. She would be so proud of you."

His breath hitches and I realize that he's crying-really crying.

I hold him, rubbing his back while his sniffles turn to sobs. My heart breaks for him because I know he just wants to feel like some one really cares again, and I do, so I try to show it. It's then that I realize that I'm going to always be in the shadow of Lillian Luthor.


	4. Red Roses

I don't know what happened, but they're red.

A huge bouquet of blood red roses-two dozen, from the looks of it. When I get to my desk I pluck the card off, ignoring the knowing look from my partner.

Chloe,

Had to go to New York, be back Friday.

Sorry about tonight.

Love, Lex.

The card is in his sharp scrawling script. I crumple it up and toss it into the trash can.

"Boyfriend skip town again?" my editor is staring at the rather embarrassing display that takes up a good portion of my desk.

I smile tightly, "Just a quick business trip."

"I don't know why you take that from him," he says, returning to his office.

"Me too," I say under my breath. I reach for the phone and dial his number.

His secretary informs me that he's gone already, to try his cell.

When I do there's lots of noise at the other end.

"Chloe? Is that you?" he's shouting, he must be on the plane.

"Yeah."

"Listen honey,I can't hear you right now, I'm getting on the plane and it's pretty windy out here. I'll call you before I go to bed tonight. I love you."

"I love you too," I say, though I doubt he can hear it.

I feel a little better once I hang up, just having heard his voice and knowing that he was shouting that he loved me in front of his employees.

Our bed will still be empty tonight, and the night after that. I'll still cry into his pillow and work way longer than I usually would, but his voice helps, because even though we're pretty good at hurting one another, I still love him and he still loves me so it will work out in the end.

A/N: I have some other chapters written (like how they started seeing each other) but they're considerably longer than what I've got so far-more like ten pages than one or two...how would you guys feel about that? I've really only been posting the short ones because I write them between classes and such, while the long ones tend to be hand written so I have to type them up to post them. If you'd be interested though, I'm more than happy to post them. Also, if there's some scenarios you'd like to suggest I'd be more than happy to try to take a stab at them.


	5. Pink

Pink. I don't especially like pink. I wear it occasionally, but as I stare at this color I know I wouldn't look good in it.

Two little pink lines. I bite my lip and reach for the box. Pink lines. Pink box. White stick. I glance in the mirror and my face is almost as white as the stick.

My hands are shaking and I think I'm going to be sick. I swallow though, and turn the box over. Two lines...

"Chloe?"

I freeze. He shouldn't be home for a few more hours. I don't know what to do. It doesn't really matter because his voice is coming from the other side of the door and he's knocking lightly on it and the knob is turning.

"Honey, what-" he stops, staring at me.

I don't have the faintest idea what I'm supposed to do.

He comes and kneels in front of me, "Chloe, why didn't you say anything to me before?" he asks, his touch is gentle as his hand comes to rest on my knee.

"I didn't-It didn't occur to me until this morning. Martha was saying something about never having grandchildren because Clark's-" I stop, because I'm rambling and I don't want to do that, I just don't know what to do with Lex looking at me like that.

His eyes are wide, and I know what he wants those two lines to mean. I don't know if I'm ready for that. I don't even know if I'm ready to look at the thing.

"What does it say?"

I hand it to him, along with the box, "I can't-"

He squints, trying to read it, because he won't wear the glasses he just got. Vanity.

"Chloe-" his voice catches, and he has tears in his eyes and I know what the two lines mean.

He tosses the stick and box on to the counter and kisses me, pulling me into his arms.

He's crying and I start to cry, but it's because I'm scared and confused and this is happening to me and my body and I didn't ask for it.

"But- wait. Did you-Chloe, did you go off the pill?" his eyes slide to the round pink disk on the sink.

I shake my head, "I don't know how this happened Lex. I'm sorry-"

"No, Chloe, don't say that. We're ready for this, aren't we?"

I rack my brain. I'm twenty-five years old. He's thirty-two. We've been married for three years. He travels about five months out of the year. We try and have dinner together twice a week. Most of those nights he doesn't make it home before I fall asleep. I just quit my dream job so we could move back to Smallville. I don't know how to answer his question.

"We'll figure it out," I finally say, because he looks like he needs to hear it.

"I love you," he says, kissing me almost reverently.

"I love you too," I say because I know he needs to hear it now. Then I'm opening my mouth again and I don't know what I'm saying until I've said it, "I'm scared Lex. I don't know how to be a mother."

"If it makes you feel any better I don't know how to be a father," he offers, "We're in this together."

"I know we are," I wrap my arms around his neck, "I love you so much," this time I say it for me because I need to love him right now. Lex has been the one constant in my life for the last decade. He's been kind and dependable and patient since the day I met him. Even in our rough spots I knew I could depend on him more than any one. He's never depended on me, never needed to, because he's strong enough for both of us. He needs me for this now though. This is something he can't do. So I hug him tighter. I don't want this, but I'll do it for him.


	6. Beginnings

A/N: This is a little tidbit out of Lex's mind going way back into third season. I just wanted to show how Chloe changed him, but I have a lot more Lex. Would you want to read more Lex? Keep the reviews coming, they make me write a whole lot faster. The first line of course is from _Forsaken_ and is actually the scene that mede me go:'Hmm, Chloe and Lex. Now that could be fun.'

"Besides, I know you won't let anything happen to me."

I try to smile at that-I all ways try to smile for her.

I wish she wouldn't have said that. My mind reels at the possibilities of what could happen to her.

I send a prayer up to anyone that will listen to protect her. Even I can only do so much.

I know I shouldn't feel the way I do about her. She's seventeen years old, I'm twenty four. Her father used to work for me.

But when she looks at me I can't help the way my stomach tightens-along with other parts of me.

I didn't all ways feel this way. She was only a little girl when I met her. Now though, she's a beautiful woman.

She's not my type. I've told myself that a thousand times. She's nothing like any of the women I've dated or even just slept with. Maybe it's a good thing. The only relationship I've had was with Helen and that wasn't something to be proud of. There was that on going thing with Victoria, too. Nothing ever worked. I don't know if I wanted it to work-no, that's not true. I wanted to be with Helen. I loved her. But that's in the past. I want to look to the future now. And I want that future to include a certain feisty investigative reporter.

I only hope I can restrain myself until she turns eighteen.


	7. Emergency

I dial the number slowly. I know it's programed into my phone, but I dial it anyway.

It rings exactly two and half times before his assistant answers.

"Mr. Luthor is in a board meeting right now Ms. Sullivan-"

"Tell him it's an emergency."

"Yes ma'am."

She knows better than to question it. A few months ago I had car trouble, called him and was told he was in a meeting. I insisted that it wasn't important and she didn't offer to pull him. We both got pretty well dressed down by Lex.

"Chloe?"

I can't help the sob that escapes at the sound of his voice.

"Chloe, what's wrong?"

"He-he-"

"What happened? Are you hurt?" he's questioning me quicker than I can answer.

"No," I force myself to pull it together, "it's my father."

"What's wrong with him?"

"He had a heart attack Lex," okay, so I said it.

"Where are you?"

"At Smallville Medical Center."

"Is anyone with you?"

"No. I called 911 when I got home. He was-" I start crying again.

"It's okay honey. I'm on my way. I'll be there as soon as I can. I want you to call the Kents-no, never mind, I'll call them. Are you going to be okay until they get there?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, go back inside and sit down. Wait for us there."

"Okay."

"It's going to be okay Chloe."

Lex finally hangs up and I go wait like he told me. I want it to be okay. It has to be okay.


	8. Lillian

He's happy. Ecstatic really. "How did you do this Chloe?" he asks, his voice just above a whisper.

I smile exhaustedly, "I think you had a hand in it."

"More than just a hand," he winks.

"Much more," I groan, trying to sit up a little more. God, everything hurts.

Lex sits beside on the bed and uses his free hand to lift me up a little while I move up the head of the bed.

"Better?"

"Much," I look at the little bundle in his arms. I didn't want her. I was doing this for Lex. I love her so much now.

"I'm so proud of you," Lex murmurs in my ear.

"She kind of looks like-"

"I know," he says, cradling her closer to him.

"Lex, I want to name her Lillian."

He looks up at me, because we'd narrowed it down to a few names and Lillian wasn't anywhere on our radar, "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'd give anything to have your mother here today."

Lex's eyes mist over, not for the first time today, "So would I honey."

We both know we mean the Lillian Luthor before the death of her baby. The murder. Of her own son. She was so different before. Even in pictures you can see the difference.

There's a soft knock on the door and we both look up. We didn't expect any visitors today. Clark and my cousin are out of town, the Kent's won't be coming until tomorrow and my grandparents are waiting until we bring her home.

Lionel Luthor is the last person I expected to show up today. But he's smiling-really smiling and he's got flowers and a teddy bear in his hands.

"Dad," Lex blinks a few times before he recovers, "come meet your granddaughter."

Lionel kisses me before setting down the gifts, "Are you all right?" he asks.

I smile, "Of course I am. Look at her."

Lionel's eyes go wide for a second because Lex is laying the baby in her grandfather's arms.

"Support her-"

But Lionel adjusts himself quickly and winks at Lex, "I've done this a few times before."

I remember a picture I once found tucked away of Lionel sleeping with a tiny Lex laying on his chest. There was this sense of contentment in his face. I see it again now.

"She looks like your mother," he whispers, sitting down.

"We're going to name her Lillian," Lex says softly.

Lionel looks up and -wow- my father in law is crying.

"She'd be so proud of you. Both of you. All three of you."

Lex's eyes meet mine and he winks. Nothing like a baby to bring a family together.

"She has dark hair too," Lex says, "looks like she escaped that particular gene."

"Thank God," I say.

"Hey!" Lex looks at me, though he's laughing.

"Leave me alone," I say, smiling because laughing's too painful, "I had your child today."

He kisses the top of my head, "Yes, you did."

Lex and his father are both still glued to her and I have to admit, it's hard for me to stop looking too, but I take a moment to see the look in the eyes of the two men. Love. Love at first sight.


	9. Unbreakable

"I'd like one of those," I say, looking at the little girl swinging off the hand of her father as they walk past the cafe where Lex and I are sitting.

"Just one?" he asks, because this is a conversation that we've had before.

"Maybe a couple," I concede, sipping at my coffee.

Lex is smiling and I have to say, I am too. He's been busy the last two days, which is fine because this was a business trip, but it pretty much sucks to be in Paris with the man you love and not be able to spend time with him. So these few hours this afternoon are important to me.

He brushes my hair back from my face with a feather light touch.

"Then say you'll marry me," he says softly.

I almost drop my coffee. Lex sees the slight tremble in my hand and rescues the cup before I can do any damage to it or my clothes.

"Lex," I whisper, "did you just-"

"Yeah. Do I get an answer?"

Oh God, he's serious.

"I-I-" I shouldn't be blindsided by this. We've been together for four years.

"Chloe?"

"Can I think for a second?"

He looks a little surprised and I realize I may have snapped a little.

"I'm sorry," I say immediately, laying my hand on his cheek, "I just-I didn't expect this. Not now."

"I didn't plan on it, but I think it's time Chloe, don't you?" he looks so hopeful. If Lex ever looked innocent in his life it might be now.

I know he's right, but every thing's spinning around me and no-I'm going to start crying. Why am I crying? I don't know that I've said it aloud until Lex is kissing away my tears, even as they mingle with his.

"Chloe, I love you. I want to spend the rest of our lives together."

I'm still crying and he's still talking, "Do you want me to get down on one knee? Because I will," and he's out of his chair and down on his knee and now every one is staring at us and I can hear them whispering because they all know who he is, and by this time they know me too, if only as 'Lex Luthor's twinkie.'

"Marry me Chloe."

I love him. It's the only thought left in my mind and I throw myself into his arms and PDA and cameras be damned because he's kissing me.

It's later at the hotel when he tells me that he's been thinking about this for years now.

"I was ready to ask you right before your father died. I went to him and I asked him for your hand."

He's looking like he expects me to be mad at it, but it only makes me cry again, because I love him so much and because I miss my father and want to tell him that I'm marrying Lex. I'm just glad to know he was okay with it. I think I'd have been wondering all my life if Lex hadn't had that conversation with him.

Lex drys my tears again and crawl onto his lap.

"I love you so much Lex," I kiss him for what must be the hundredth time.

"Chloe, you know this isn't going to change much," he says seriously.

I look at him and I know that a ring on my finger won't stop the last minute cancellations, the disappointment and the all too frequent nights on my own. I'll still get more flowers with notes of apology than any woman in Kansas. But it also won't change the fact that we love each other. I tell him that last part and he smiles at me.

"No it won't," he agrees.

The phone rings, proving that nothing has changed, and he lifts me off him to take the call in the other room.

Alone, I stare at the ring he placed on my finger just minutes before. I know that I'm just as unbreakable as that diamond, so I can handle this marriage.


	10. Solemn Vow

A/N: I never wanted to write a wedding but this started running through my mind and I couldn't make myself sleep last night until I had it all down. It's on the long side and there's a lot more dialogue than I ever write, but it's a wedding so that was bound to happen. The ceremony is some random mix of the 'Rite of Christian Marriage' found in The Faith We Sing the hymnal of the United Methodist Church, and stuff I got off various websites. I did my best to make it as non-denominational as possible because I really didn't have a clue what a non-religious wedding would be like, so I just toned it down a little.

Okay, so I'm re-editing. I found a whole bunch of mistakes. So to anyone who had to read this before I changed stuff I'm sorry, I promise I'm capable of speaking the English language.

"Ready?"

I blink at Jonathan multiple times before I figure out what he means.

"Yeah," I let my hand rest in the crook of his arm. I grip the lace edged handkerchief Martha gave me just a few minutes ago even tighter in the hand that holds my bouquet. Red roses. They create a stark contrast against my white dress.

Clark teased me last night about wearing white. Maybe I shouldn't. But if Clark's reaction when he saw me this afternoon is anything like what Lex's will be, it's worth it.

Lois is making her way down the aisle now and I peek around a pillar to see Lex.

He's kinda rocking on his heels, like he's nervous. Otherwise his face is a mask. If I were closer I might be able to tell what's going on in his mind, but from here I can't tell a thing.

There's music playing that I can't even come close to identifying because I've got such a ringing in my ears.

Jonathan smiles at me and we start down the aisle.

Everyone is standing and smiling and it honestly takes a second before I realize why. I'm getting married. I'm finally going to marry Lex. After all these years.

He's standing at the end of the aisle and I decide that the white dress was worth it, because he's staring at me-just absolutely staring.

Jonathan hands me off and the minister starts talking.

For a minute I don't think that I know him, but I finally decide that he is the same person we did premarital counseling with.

Lex kind of nods over my shoulder and I remember that I'm supposed to hand my bouquet to Lois, which I do and she swaps me for Lex's ring, which she's been keeping on her thumb.

I place it on the bible in front of me and Lex does the same after a few frightening seconds of Clark digging through the wrong pocket.

I roll my eyes at my best friend and he grins in response. Knowing him he did it on purpose to get me to relax. Which probably isn't a bad idea.

"Alexander, take Chloe's hand and repeat after me. I Alexander-"

"I Alexander-"

"-take you, Chloe-"

"-take you, Chloe-"

"-to be my wife."

"-to be my wife," Lex's eyes are covered with a sheen of tears. I never would have dreamed that he might become so emotional over this.  
"To be none other than yourself."  
"To be none other than yourself."

"I promise to stand by your side;"  
"I promise to stand by your side;"

"To encourage you, and be open and honest with you;"

"To encourage you, and be open and honest with you;" he says it so seriously, and I know that he means it.  
"To laugh with you, and cry with you;"

"To laugh with you, and cry with you;"  
"To always love and honor you;"

"To always love and honor you;" a tear breaks free and rolls down his cheek, but he's not deterred at all.  
"Both freed and bound by our love,"  
"Both freed and bound by our love,"

"For as long as we both shall live."

"For as long as we both shall live." he squeezes my hand a little.

I know I say the same thing to him, but I really can't hear myself. I know that I dab at my eyes about a hundred times with that frilly handkerchief from Martha. Lex wipes away a few of the tears himself.

"Alexander, take the ring and place it on Chloe's finger and repeat after me. 'Chloe, I give you this ring as a symbol of my solemn vow and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you."

The ring is cold sliding over my finger, but Lex's warm hand closes over it, "Chloe, I give you this ring as a symbol of my solemn vow and with all that I am and all that I have, I honor you."

It takes me second to get my bearings and do the same, but I manage, and I have some trouble getting the ring past his knuckle, but it takes my mind away for a split second so I hold myself together long enough.

"Alexander and Chloe, in so much as the two of you have agreed to live together in Holy Matrimony, have promised your love for each other by these vows, the joining of your hands and the giving of these rings, I now declare you to be Husband and Wife. Those whom God hath joined together, let no one put asunder."

I swallow hard, fighting back new tears because my God, I can't cry the whole time.

When the minister speaks again, it's more to us, quieter than the rest of the ceremony, "Lex, you may kiss your bride."

Lex and I joked around about the 'church kiss' in the _Wedding Singer_ for the last few weeks. But we pull it off well. Long enough that I know there will be pictures of it, but not long enough that any one -namely Clark- felt moved to whistle or do anything else that might cause permanent embarrassment for me.

"Honored Guests, I'm pleased to present to you: Mr. and Mrs. Alexander Luthor."

I almost laugh out loud when I realize that he means us.

Lex grabs my hand again and we all but race down the aisle, leaving behind the sound of Mendelssohn

Clark and Lois are the first to reach us, since they were directly behind us.

I'm kissed more times than I could ever count, most of them by Lex.

Once everyone is out of the church Lex and I make a run for the waiting car while rose petals rain down on us.

Safely inside Lex finally kisses me-really kisses me.

"God, I've wanted to do that for the last hour and a half," his voice rumbles against my ear.

"Lex," I whisper, "we're married."

He laughs out loud, "I know. I was there."

I stare at him, because he's my husband now and this really is forever.

"Lex," I place my hands on either side of his face and move so I'm kneeling beside him, "I love you."

"Chloe," his voice falters slightly and a tear escapes again, leaving a wet track on his cheek.

He wraps me into his arms, "I love you too baby. So much."

I'm content to spend the rest of our marriage like this, wrapped securely in his arms, feeling so utterly completed that I can't imagine wanting or needing one other thing. But too soon we're stopping and getting out of the car. There are guests to greet, toasts to be made, cakes to be cut and about a million songs to dance to. The party will last until the early morning I know, but I'm glad to have had those few minutes alone.


	11. Feelings

A/N: Okay, I'll be the first to say that things have been going down hill lately, but hopefully, this will be the last horrendous (and long) chapter and I'll get back on track. I don't know why I'm so sappy lately, but I promise I'm almost over it. And I want to apologize one more time for 'Solemn Vow.' The entire concept was awful and the editing was worse. Anyway, I think it's in a language that resembles English now and Lex isn't saying things he's not supposed to (rolling eyes), so if you want to give it another run, feel free, although I'm seriously considering removing it all together. Sorry about the obnoxiously long author's notes lately-and the abnormally long chapters. You guys rock, thanks for reading!

"Well, how does it feel?"

I nearly jump out of my skin. Lex is grinning at me from the stairs of Clark's loft.

"Like I'm finally qualified to go to college," I grin at him.

"Where's Clark?" Lex asks.

"Ran inside for a minute. Where did you disappear to after the ceremony?"

"My father called," his tone betrays his lack of expression.

"You missed an incredible dinner. Mrs. Kent out did herself."

He joins me on the sofa, "How many times has she cried today?"

I grin, "About a thousand. If she takes one more picture I'll be blind."

"Sounds about right."

"Did you enjoy the festivities of the Smallville High commencement?"

He grins a little wryly, "I've never heard so many fog horns outside of a football stadium."

"Classy, isn't it?"

"Quaint in an annoying sense," he offers.

"How about just annoying?"

He laughs, "That's about right. Although my favorite part was seeing my favorite people receiving their diplomas. Congratulations Chloe."

I smile, "Thank you."

"I liked the hat too."

I roll my eyes, "Here," I pick my mortar board up off the trunk in front of us and set it on his head.

"How does it look?"

"Ridiculous," I say, taking it off him.

We're quiet for a few minutes before I finally speak, "Lex, I-I just-I wanted to thank you again for taking me to the prom. I know it couldn't have been much fun for you at all."

He kind of shrugs it off, "It was important to you. I was happy to Chloe."

I'm still trying to figure out where this Lex came from, the one who's relaxed and jokes with me, then offers to take me to my prom so I don't have to go alone.

"It meant a lot that you were willing to do that."

He looks at me with this utterly inscrutable expression, and I have no clue what's about to come out of his mouth, "I'm sure you've noticed that things have been different since-since the trial," he says for lack of a better label. He doesn't want to say 'since I almost got you blown to bits' which is fine with me.

"We've been a lot closer," I acknowledge.

He nods, "My feelings toward you have changed quite a bit, and I think you realize that to some extent."

I don't say anything because it sounds like he's trying to say that he has feelings for me. Feelings like that.

"You've changed," I say softly. He had me worried for a while, but he came out of his mood, rebounded from the near slip into past reckless behavior, he's become a kinder, gentler version of himself.

"I've tried to anyway," he says, and before I know what's happened he's holding my hand, his thumb brushing over my knuckles, "I've been trying to make myself worthy of you Chloe."

That takes several moments to sink in.

"Lex, why?"

His other hand brushes my hair out of my eyes, "Because I can't stop thinking about you Chloe. You've completely consumed me."

I shake my head at him, "But-Lex, you can have anyone-"

"I want you. Chloe, I've been holding this in for over a year. I can't do it anymore. You're out of high school, you're well past eighteen-I won't hide these feelings anymore."

He's got this completely honest and open expression on his face. For a second I want to ask if he's been taking lessons from Clark. But I know this is real. Lex wouldn't mess around like that.

"You haven't been doing a very good job hiding lately Lex. You took me to the _prom_."

He chuckles, "You still sound like you can't believe it.

"I can't. Why on earth would you want to do that? I don't care if it's me or Britney Spears, why would you want to go to a prom?"

"Britney Spears is disgusting Chloe. And I wanted to spend time with you. I'd have done anything to have you to myself for a whole night."

"You almost made my father have a heart attack," I giggle.

"I wish I could have seen his face when you told him," Lex grins, "which brings me to something else. Your father probably isn't going to appreciate this situation."

"I'm an adult Lex. Who I chose to spend my time with is my business. If he doesn't like it, he's going to have to get over it."

"I hate to alienate him-"

"Lex, he'll get past what ever problems he has."

My brain starts to function normally out of no where, "Lex, where's Clark? He's been gone for a long time."

Lex looks a little embarrassed, some thing I never thought I'd live to see, "I might have told our good friend that you and I were going to have a little chat and that he should leave us alone."

I grin, "So you were planning this?"

"Chloe, do you know how long I've waited to tell you this?"

I look down at our joined hands, "You could have told me sooner."

"Hindsight's always 20/20, right?"

When I lift my gaze he's suddenly very close. It's almost too late when I realize that he's going to kiss me. Not that I plan on making any protests.

His lip are soft against mine, completely undemanding, just a gentle caress. He doesn't push, goes slowly and when he finally coaxes my mouth open and slips inside I realize I don't ever want to kiss another man. This touch, his touch is all I ever want.


	12. Night

He must think I'm asleep. He's moving around our room silently, goes into his closet and strips out of his clothes with out turning on the lights. He sits on the edge of the bed beside me. I don't open my eyes, just lay there as his fingers run lightly through my hair and he touches my face gently.

He gets up and goes into the bathroom. He's only in there a minute, then he's crawling into bed without a word.

His arms go around me and pull me close to him. He kisses the top of my head and whispers his love for me.

His body is tense against mine. He must have had a bad day. His breathing evens out and his body relaxes slightly, though not as much as I'd like.

Part of me wants to speak, to tell him I'm awake and he can talk to me if he needs to. The other part of me knows that he really doesn't want to talk and that he needs this rest he's getting. So I silently snuggle closer and close my eyes. We can talk in the morning.


	13. Terms of Endearment

A/N: Oh goodness. Pure fluff I tossed off in between two tests to calm me down. I feel like I'm getting back on track. Enjoy!

I've had a long day. I just want to crawl into Lex's bed and hope that he's close behind. Climbing the stairs to his bedroom, I wonder if I should have checked his office, even though he rarely uses it here at the penthouse. I decide not to and keep going. I'm surprised to find him in bed all ready.

"Hey you," I say softly.

He looks up from the book he's reading, "Hey. You look like you've had a rough day. Come here."

I climb into the bed beside him, not bothering to take off my clothes. His arms wrap around me tightly and he kisses my forehead.

"You don't look so great yourself," I point out.

He shrugs, "I've traveled about a million miles since this morning. What's your excuse?"

"I chased the Dean for student affairs to all ends of the city today and never got a quote."

"Ouch."

"Yeah, I felt like Michael Moore in 'Roger and Me." I snuggle closer to him, "Have fun on your little excursion?"

"If I ever decide that it's necessary to spend that much time in a confined space with my father again kill me."

I smile, "It was that bad?"

"He kept asking when I was going to make an honest woman out of you."

"He used those words?" I giggle.

"Yeah," his hand runs down my back, hitting about a hundred knots as it does so.

"Okay," he says, pulling me into a sitting position and pulling my shirt off.

"Lex, what-"  
"Lay down," he instructs, taking off my bra as well, "you need a back rub more than any person I've ever seen."

I stretch out on my stomach and feel the mattress sink as he kneels on either side of my thighs.

Oh God. I bury my face in a pillow as his hands work at my tense shoulders. He's good at this.

"Lex?"

"Hmm?"

"Why am I just now discovering this talent?"

He chuckles, "I have lots of hidden talents Chloe."

"I know-" I gasp as he hits a sore spot the sigh as he works it out, "-I've benefited from most of them all ready."

Lex doesn't say any thing, but I know he has a smile on his face.

"Why were chasing the dean?" Lex asks.

"There was an incident last night with two students. An RA found them having sex in the shower."

"And? I know they frowned on it when I was there too, but no one ever really cared."

"Well, both these students happened to be male. Now they have to go to the disciplinary committee and explain themselves. They'll probably be expelled."

Lex doesn't stop rubbing my lower back, "That's incredibly biased. I never got written up for that even."

I turn my head and raise an eyebrow, "Really?"

"Not with men," he offers.

I let it fall there because his thumbs are working over my neck, smoothing the tired and tense muscles.

"Feel better now sweetheart?" Lex asks, pressing his lips to my shoulder again.

"Sweetheart?" I roll over to look at him.

He's almost-he is blushing. I don't think I've ever made him blush before. This could be fun!

"I don't know what made me say that," he mutters, getting off of me.

"I'm just so sweet. Like honey?"

Lex shakes his head at me, grinning, "Why do I put up with you?"

"Because I'm your sweetheart-darling," I lean on the last word.

Lex kisses me, "What ever you say sugar lips."

"Sweetums," I snicker.

"Honey," he says in a sickeningly sweet voice.

"Dear."

"Muffin," he leans in for a kiss but we both end up laughing.

He kisses the end of my nose, "At least I got you to laugh."

I stretch contentedly, "I even got a massage out of it."

"You need to sleep now," he says, pulling the sheets back over our bodies.

I snuggle into his embrace, but he pulls me back up to him to kiss me good night.

"I love you," he says softly. That's new too. He said that for the first time only a few weeks ago. It filled me with terror at first. Now though, it just warms me down to my toes. I'm still waiting for the courage to say it back to him though.

"Goodnight darling."

Lex chuckles softly, "Goodnight muffin."


	14. Promises

He's never broken a promise.

He never promised that he would always be there when I wanted him.

He never promised that we would see each other every day.

He never promised to tell me all of his secrets.

He promised to be there when I needed him, and he always is.

He promised to be a good father, and he is.

He promised that I would be provided for and I am.

He promised to always love me and he does.

He promised me his fidelity, and I have it.

I promised to be patient, and I'm not.

I promised to be understanding and I almost never am.

I promised to be supportive and I try hard, but rarely succeed.

I promised to be a good mother, and I don't know that I always am.

I promised to make him happy, no matter what and I'm not sure that I have.

I never thought I'd be the one breaking promises.

A/N: I've been asked to clarify the time line. Um, there isn't one. This story is utterly random. Each chapter is from a specific time in Lex and Chloe's relationship, but it doesn't follow any order at all. I've done my best to make sure that it's clear if they're just dating or married or what ever the case may be in each chapter -it might be something as small as some one referring to Lex as Chloe's 'boyfriend' rather than husband, but I'm fairly certain it's there every time (if not, I apologize). For further clarification, their relationship starts after Chloe's done with high school, though Lex has been attracted to her for some time. They date through her college career and are married not too long after. They are married when their first child is born and have been for a few years (I mention it some where, but I can't remember the exact number off the top of my head). Does that help? Is it still about as clear as mud? I'm more than happy to explain further if need be. Also. . .I have been working on some Lex POV stuff that I'm thinking about making into it's own story, rather than integrating it here, which my original plan. I want to use 'Beginnings' as a jumping point and see what happens. Maybe I'll try to keep this one in order. Be looking for that sometime with in the next few days. After the sixteenth you probably won't hear much from me because I'm going home for a few days (yay!). After the weekend though I'll probably have about a million updates. Wait, is this author's note longer than the actual chapter? That's freakish. Anyway, have a great week everybody and Single Awareness Day!


	15. A Conversation

A/N: I'm sorry I've been so slow about updating, but classes are pretty much kicking the crap out of me right now. It might be a while again before you hear from me, but I do have a ton of stuff waiting to go up, and luckily spring break is coming soon! Thanks for the reviews, I really do appreciate them.

"Your son is pretty intense sometimes, do you know that?" I ask the slab of stone.

"I love him, but sometimes he makes me nervous. The way he looks at me-I wish I could get into his head for a little while, figure out how his mind works. I used to think that I knew, but I've learned better than to assume that you understand him."

I pull my jacket a little bit tighter around me, because the winter wind is bitingly cold.

"You're the only one who loved him like I do-the only one who's ever really known him like I do. I wish you could tell me more about him. Sometimes all I can think about is how great it would be to just sit down with you and have you tell me stories about when he was a little boy-all the cute things he did, all the trouble he got himself into. He doesn't talk about his childhood you know. If I ask him he'll tell me somethings but I know it hurts him to talk about it-to talk about you.

"So I can really only imagine the kind of woman you were, beyond Lex's vague descriptions."

"I-I know you always wanted him to have a sibling-didn't want him to be alone. It sucks-I know. I understand what you did too. But you know that there's another Luthor out there and that Lex really isn't alone. I'm trying really hard to get them to spend time together. You know, sometimes I think they almost act like brothers.

"But that's not why I'm here," I look down at my hand, the diamond on my finger shining at me, "We started planning the wedding today and I realized that there is no woman on this earth that can tell me how I get ready to become a Luthor. I've put up with canceled dates and last minute receptions for four years now, but now I'm marrying that situation. And I'm not naive enough to think anything will get better. It might be worse because we'll really be living together-not that we don't pretty much do that now."

This is one of those things you don't normal discuss with your mother in law.

"I just don't know how to keep smiling through it. I know he'd never knowingly do something to make me unhappy, but I know that this isn't going to be an ideal marriage. I wish I didn't love him so much. I wish that I didn't care if I hurt him, I wish that I could just leave him and not worry about this stuff, but I'll never love some one the way I love him, and no one will ever love me like he does. I just know that some time soon dresses and flowers and cake frostings are going to turn into vows and -I don't want to break my vows to him. I don't. We've both broken promises before, but I can't break my wedding vows to him. I love him too much. He loves me too much. You know, I know you wanted him to fall in love some day. Lex says you'd like me-I hope you would. I hope you would love me. I hope that I could've thought of you as a mother. I-I never knew my mother really. I don't know if she really loved me. I mean, she left-but I know you loved your son-sons. I'm glad that Lex had that, even if it wasn't for long. There was a long time there that I don't think he'd heard the words 'I love you' in years. He does now. I make sure he does. Because Lex needs some one to love him-every one does.

"So I guess I'm really here because I want you to know that I'm going to love your son. No matter what, I'm going to love him. He'll never be alone again-I promise."


End file.
